Contradictions
by falsechaos
Summary: [yaoi] [hondajounouchi] [ch 3 added] Sometimes change is for the best. And sometimes... It isn't.
1. Chocolate

"Contradictions"  
by: False Chaos  
tsukineko@mail.com  
Straight foreword yaoi here folks. Don't read if it's a squick factor. Enjoy if it isn't.   
  
=====  
  
It might have been easier to explain away if they had both been drunk. As it were, the most potent thing running through either of their systems was teenage hormones. And about half a liter of highly caffeinated soda. That couldn't have helped things. Perhaps the fact that it was a little past three in the morning on a school night should be mentioned. And the small bowl of chocolates. Certainly that was a (if not *the*) source of problems as well.  
  
Jounouchi and Honda sat next to one another at a small table in the brunette's house. Said table was littered with papers and pencils and half-hearted doodles. Subjects as diverse as the history of Japanese anime and the use of swords in early American military games and the price of eggplants in Brazil sat gloating in rough little piles of books. Not to mention the calculator. (Jounouchi still had yet to figure out when he was supposed to use *that.*)  
  
All of this had to tied into a cohesive report.  
  
A report that...   
  
...they both known about for two weeks,  
  
...was due in less than five hours,  
  
...and was worth a third of their final grade.  
  
"Y'know, Jou, maybe next time we should take some time and do the research together." Honda looked up from his personal prison of books and papers and glared his best friend. "Instead of making up some stupid excuse that 'great minds think alike and we won't have any problems putting it together.' "  
  
Jounouchi's only response was a poorly disguised grumble through clenched teeth. He gave up the charade and yawned, his mouth gaping wide as he sucked in precious consciousness giving oxygen. "If we don't get something put together, we aren't gonna have to worry about facing Niwa-san's wrath. We'll both be drooling face down on our desks."  
  
His friend snorted. "As if the teacher needs any other reason to be breathing down our necks. I swear, that woman's out to get us. If we don't get a decent grade, neither one of us will be passing this year."  
  
"Maybe she wouldn't be out to get us if you'd stop making those clucking noises whenever she enters the room."  
  
"Maybe if you hadn't've called her 'Niwatori-san' on her *first* day."  
  
"You didn't need to burst out laughing."  
  
"You didn't need to explain it to her."  
  
He snickered, his amber brown eyes sparkling. "I swear, Honda, the woman reminded me of a giant chicken! She's about built like one and that hat! That big, froofy, feathered--" Jounouchi tried to smother his snickers by burying his face in his arm, "hat!" he managed to spit out. Honda merely sat back and took notice of the fact that his friend's laughter was tinged with more that a bit of panic. "She's gonna kill us, isn't she?" Jounouchi finished with weak laughter.  
  
"More than likely," Honda replied calmly. He reached towards a small bowl that, earlier in the frantic morning, had been filled with small candies Shizuka made for her brother. His hand froze when Jounouchi looked up and glared threateningly at him.  
  
"That one's mine."  
  
"Convenient," Honda sighed, "since it's the only one left."  
  
"I mean it, man. Shizuka sent those to *me.* Not my fault if you happened to be there when I got 'em."  
  
"I don't think so. You put the candy in a bowl, on the table, *and* within reach of *both* of us. Communal property."  
  
"Hnf. Big word. Where'd you pick that one up? Off a cereal box?" Jounouchi retorted. "*I'm* the candy maker's big brother. Shizuka made those especially for me. Overrules your 'communal property.' "  
  
" 'Candy maker's big brother.' Only at," Honda briefly checked the clock, "3:15 in the morning could that possibly be funny." His hand skirted dangerously close to the near empty bowl. "And didn't Shizuka tell you to share?" He scratched his head as though searching for an answer and snapped his fingers when he 'found' it. "That's right! She did say to share. In fact, she was looking right at me when she said that!"  
  
"You think I'm kidding? Just try it."  
  
Honda smirked and snatched the final piece of candy. "Don't mind if I do," he said before popping it in his mouth.  
  
Any other time, Jounouchi would have let it go at smacking Honda on the back of the head and watching him choke a bit. At 3:17 in the morning on a stressful school night with his last piece of candied happiness currently melting in his best friend's mouth, he did what only seemed the most logical thing to do at the time. Jou snarled, "Give it back!" and locked his mouth to Honda's with the express purpose of getting it back.  
  
Honda went rigid in the uncomfortable wooden chair when he felt the sudden pressure of Jounouchi's lips against his own. He felt Jou's weight pressed against his own, felt Jou's warmth melting into his own, and ("oh god," his mind whispered with sick fascination) Jou's tongue in his mouth licking away traces of that now insignificant candy. Honda placed his hands on Jounouchi's shoulders, fully intending to shove him away, but couldn't--  
  
Couldn't bear to push away this sudden source of heat and moisture and friction.  
  
Jounouchi pinned Honda with his weight and held his face roughly in his hands. All he really meant to do was get his candy back. Really. Truth. Honest. But the sweet taste of chocolate in Honda's mouth... Never mind he was now sitting in his best friend's lap. Never mind how Honda's stiff frame now went languid beneath his own. And never mind how it wasn't about that damned piece of candy any more.  
  
Now it was about finding out just how deep he could crawl down Honda's throat. Jou couldn't hold back a slight groan. He started to move his hips against Honda's, the sudden friction fuel to the aching fire building within him. Jou moved his hand to the back of Honda's head, messing the short hair, pulling him closer. His other traced a path down his friend's heaving chest. He didn't even notice that the chocolate was gone now.  
  
Naturally, Honda did. But he didn't (or perhaps couldn't) say anything with Jounouchi rubbing against him with those fluid catlike motions. He felt the slick movement of Jou's lips on his own and closed his eyes. Without meaning to (but acting all the same), he unclenched his hands from Jounouchi's shoulders and ran them down to the other boy's hips, pulling him closer. He began to do some rubbing back. His hands splayed across Jou's lower back, long fingers digging into the flesh.  
  
It was only when Jounouchi found himself brushing his tongue against Honda's that he stopped. He pulled back suddenly and froze. Jou met Honda's stare with one of his own. His hysterical mind raced to figure out the current state of affairs. Honda's hands were very close to his ass. Which, given their current position, wasn't that much of a news item. The fact that he was sitting on his friend's lap with that vicious ache between his legs was. And the fact that Honda seemed to be dealing with an ache all his own.  
  
Jounouchi would have launched himself away from Honda if it weren't for the other boy's hands clamped (almost to the point of muscular convulsions) around his hips. "Honda!" The exclamation escaped his now moist lips as a squeak. It really was the best he could do at the time. He put his hands on Honda's shoulders and pushed himself as far back as he could. Jou stared at his friend. He noticed Honda's labored breathing and dilated pupils. Hormones. It could all be explained away to hormones and too much late night homework.  
  
He hoped.  
  
He licked his lips and tried to start again. Nothing. No explanation for this, no words that could force this to make sense, nothing that could make the rush of blood from his brain to his face and his groin stop. "I'm sorry." That was a start. Sort of. "I didn't mean to do that--"  
  
"Jounouchi."  
  
The blond stared back at his friend. "Yeah?" Waited for the harsh words and blows that would surely follow.  
  
"You talk too much." Honda moved forward to capture Jou's lips. He looked mildly surprised when Jou pulled back.   
  
"What're you doing?" Jounouchi asked, his voice suddenly hoarse. His amber eyes were wide and he felt himself trembling. 'What were *you* doing just a minute ago?' he asked himself with a faint panic that now had nothing to do with homework.  
  
"I don't know," Honda whispered back. He leaned forward and succeeded this time with his goal. He met Jou gently, pressing with lips that felt awkward and hesitant. Now it was Jounouchi's turn to go stiff and shocked.  
  
What he had done before was rash and impulsive. Typical Jounouchi. But this... this was something very deliberate. Something that was *planned,* even if only in the space of two or three seconds. So he sat there for a moment, everything spinning away from its proper orbit and place. This was wrong. On several levels. On several planes of existence. Jou could think of a million reasons why they should stop. But none of them seemed to matter at the time.  
  
So when Honda pulled back slightly and flicked his tongue against his lips, Jou gasped and let him in. Pressed against him. Sucked at the strange appendage now roaming about his mouth. Moaned into the wet heat. So many things wrong with this, but so *right* in that deep, visceral part of him where his heart was hidden. Jou wanted more sensation, more pressure, more heat, but more than anything to figure out what in the hell was going on before this got any deeper. Too bad he forgot this very important question when Honda's hands cupped the firm curves of Jounouchi's backside and pulled him closer.  
  
Jou yanked at the neck of Honda's shirt with clumsy fingers, jerking several buttons off in the process of opening the shirt. Darkly tanned skin begged for the touch of his inexperienced hands and he obliged. He rubbed his thumb over the throbbing pulse in Honda's throat and shuddered at the moan that followed. Jou ran his hands down Honda's chest, taking in the feel of warm, smooth skin. Jounouchi barely registered his own plaintive gasp when Honda pulled away and began nipping at his jaw. He tilted his head to allow the brunette better access to his neck. Even then, Jou may have been able to pull away. But when he felt Honda's warm breath gusting in his ear as the other boy whispered his name, he knew he was lost.  
  
"Katsuya..."  
  
From his father, a hated curse. From his mother, an admonishment. Even from his sister and his friends, his name was rarely used in anything other than exasperation. But now, from Honda (*Hiroto,* his heart whispered), it was a blessing, a talisman. Jounouchi Katsuya was lost and didn't even know. Not, if he had known at this point, that he would have cared.  
  
So he arched against Honda when the other boy rubbed calloused fingers into Jou's back. Tight little circles. Around and around. His own hands yanked at Honda's pants, the simple button and zipper unexpectedly complex now. Jounouchi felt Honda muffle a chuckle as he traced a moist path down Jou's neck with lips, tongue, and teeth. Suddenly the pants were open and Jou's fingertips brushed against something hot and almost painfully hard. Honda gasped and bit down hard on Jou's neck, marking the other boy.  
  
"Ahh!" Jounouchi yelped. He pulled away sharply to stare at Honda, clouded amber eyes gazing into hazel. There would be a prominent mark on Jou's neck in a few hours. Right now, however, all that mattered was making certain that there would be no time to question their actions. He leaned in to kiss Honda once more, breaking apart only to lift his arms above his head as Honda tugged Jou's shirt off. This was good. Flesh on flesh. Not quite there yet... But ahh! the feeling of Honda moving down to latch his mouth around Jou's nipple.  
  
'Done this before, had to have done this before... Can't be this good without practice,' Jou thought with bare comprehension. Again, the feeling of teeth marking his skin, sensitive flesh retreating into a raw nub. Jou reached down once more to the other boy's pants. Honda lifted his hips to help and Jounouchi went tumbling to the floor, head striking the table. Even that didn't matter for long, because Honda went down with him, rubbed those talented fingers on the sore spot, pulled his friend closer into a bruising kiss.  
  
"Shoes, dammit, shoes!" Jou cursed around the brunette's mouth. He reached down and jerked viciously at Honda's sneakers. Shoes off. Good. Pants off. Better. Suddenly Jounouchi was on his back with Honda's heavy weight sprawled on top of him. Not that he minded, not when Honda renewed his attentions to the blond's chest, rolling one nipple between his teeth and the other between thumb and forefinger.  
  
Jou kicked his own sneakers off. Honda's breath caught in his throat at the sudden feeling of writhing, twisting Jounouchi beneath him. Honda tried to shrug off his shirt, but froze when Jou hooked a thumb under the waistband of his boxers. He looked into hesitant amber eyes.  
  
"This is okay, right? What we're doing?"  
  
"Does it matter now?" Honda whispered.  
  
"No," Jou said and pulled the other boy's boxers off.  
  
Honda hissed in mingled pain and pleasure as he rubbed against the rough texture of Jounouchi's jeans. It hurt, but oh god, he didn't want it to *stop* hurting. The blond sucked in a startled breath when he felt a firm thigh nudge his own apart. He thrust his hips against the sudden pressure. Jou's hands moved to jerk and tear at the button of his pants, desperate to drown his mind in the overwhelming sensations. Strong fingers moved with his own and helped him remove the offending piece of clothing.  
  
Nothing separated them now. Both boys kept their eyes tightly shut, not wanting to see the flushed face of the other. Something sacred and ages-old was getting torn apart. Something new and uncertain was being built in its place.  
  
Honda had to grit his teeth to keep from screaming when Jounouchi's hand closed around his aching member. He allowed himself a long groan as Jou moved his palm up and down, fingertips barely brushing the length of Honda's erection. Honda bucked frantically against the boy beneath him, his breath coming in harsh pants and cries. His hands clenched tightly around Jou's shoulders. He tried to prop himself up on his elbows, to relieve the brunt of his weight, but couldn't and collapsed on the blond.  
  
Right and wrong. Pleasure and pain. Jounouchi felt both. This wasn't the tight, wet heat he had experienced before. This was something alien and familiar at the same time. The feeling of strong, calloused fingers wrapped around him and jerking up and down, that he certainly knew. But not this strange motion, sudden twists of the palm and stroking of fingers alien to his own ingrained patterns. And certainly not the feeling of heavy weight pressing down on him, pinning him in place, allowing no escape or quarter... He wanted to cry out in panic and flee. He wanted the sensations coursing electric through his body to crest and break. He didn't want it to end but feared what would happen when it did.  
  
Jou moved frantically against Honda, heard the other boy cry out and empty his seed on Jounouchi's stomach. He couldn't, not yet, couldn't feel that same release, something had to break, *he* was breaking... oh god, he was breaking. Why was he doing this? What possessed him to-- Warm lips meet his own and Jou's eyes flared open to stare into Honda's, even as the blond kept thrusting and jerking his hips upwards. Amber eyes stared into hazel; warm, trusting, frightened.  
  
And suddenly it was all okay, it was okay to scream and cling to Honda's shoulders, okay to rake blunt nails down his back and let go.... Let the edges of his vision blur.... let the sticky heat spill between them... and just... let go.  
  
A few minutes passed before they separated, bodies sheened with a patina of sweat. Honda leaned against Jounouchi, who in turn leaned against the table. The brunette nestled his head in the crook of Jou's neck and shoulder. Neither dared to speak. Jou trembled lightly behind him. Honda reached for the other boy's hand and held it tightly. He felt a shaking arm snake around his waist and pull him close.  
  
"Jouno--, I mean Kats--"  
  
"Not now." Jou's voice was low and uncertain. Honda shivered at its husky edge. "Just... not now."  
  
Honda turned and shrugged off the white, button up shirt that had remained on him despite the earlier events. Without it, a number of raw trails would no doubt be marring his back now. He used it to wipe Jou's stomach and hands, then his own. The blond remained silent throughout Honda's tender attentions. But Honda noted with some relief that at least the other boy had stopped shaking.  
  
They got up and pulled their scattered pieces of clothing on. Honda left the small dining room to find a clean shirt in his room. He flushed brightly as he buried the other in his hamper. Jounouchi was sitting at the table when he came back downstairs. The blond sat hunched over a small pile of books and a piece of paper upon which he scribbled furious notes.  
  
"Katsuya..." The name felt good in his mouth. Honda tried again when he saw Jou hunch even further down, knuckles almost popping as he clutched the pencil. "Katsuya, we have to--"  
  
"It's Jounouchi. My friends call me Jounouchi." Jou tried to keep the emphasis on the word 'friends' out of his statement. He looked up at the brunette and knew from the fleeting wounded look that he failed.  
  
Honda's voice was sharper than he intended. "We can't just pretend that this didn't happen!"  
  
"We can for a little while."  
  
He heard the subtle plea in Jou's voice. Honda bit down on the sudden hurt that welled within and reached for a sheet of paper. "Hand me a pen, will you, Jou?" He tried not to flinch at the relief in Jounouchi's eyes.  
  
=====  
  
Niwa-san scanned the report a few moments. She beamed with unexpected pleasure. "It looks decent so far..." Intrigued, she flipped through the rest of the report. "Nice combination of diverse subject matter! Some of these topics look like they could never be brought together, and look how well you've blended them into something new!" She clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "Not the best use of spelling and grammar mechanics... But I must say, this certainly looks like a passing paper!" She moved on to another student.  
  
"Some things should never be brought together..." Jou muttered under his breath.  
  
"But some things never work *unless* they're brought together," Honda replied beside him, equally quiet.  
  
Jou ignored him and stared straight ahead. The droning of the teacher's voice faded into the distant buzzing of students around him. He couldn't say anything yet. Not to his friend. He bit the inside of his cheek and rested his head on his arms. Anger and doubt clambered about in his mind, dueling for supremacy. Something had to break soon. He couldn't handle this shattering of brotherhood. Jou didn't know what had been built between them last night, if anything at all, and he didn't want to find out. He only wanted things to be undone.  
  
But that didn't stop him from agreeing silently with Hiroto. 'Maybe.' 


	2. Now

Contradictions  
ch 2: Now  
by: falsechaos  
falsechaos@mail.com  
Shounen-ai. ^_^ Enjoy.  
  
Honda was bleeding. He sucked lightly at his finger, trying to stop the flow. The report in front of him remained oblivious to the glare he was casting its way. It was a shallow cut, as most papercuts are, but Honda hated the sight of blood. Lousy report. At least it was passing. He tossed the report over to Jounouchi's desk, where it landed with a flat *plop!* in front of his friend.  
  
The blond jerked away, startled, from the conversation he was carrying with another student. Jou pointed at the paper. "What's this?"  
  
"The report, stupid," Honda replied with rough affection. "It passed. We won't have Niwa-san again next year. Barely."  
  
"Yeah, that's good." An awkward pause. "What'd we get?"  
  
"I meant it when I said barely. We're five points above failing." Jou didn't bother to reply. Honda scowled. "Never mind." He turned away, his shoulders stiff, and rustled into his backpack with a glare marring his expression. He sat back with a huff and shoved his face into a manga he had dug out. Still with the avoidance! 'Sensitive topic, Hiroto, don't freak Jou out.' That last bit had become something of a mantra the last few days. Don't freak Jou out. Don't freak Jou out. Don't freak Jou out.  
  
Every casual arm thrown around Jou's shoulders, every spat that involved them in each other's faces, every possible comment (no matter how innocent) had to be watched. Just so he wouldn't freak Jou out. Honda remembered how, the next day, Jounouchi wasn't even able to look him in the face without flushing. Not a blush, no, for once Jou's behavior wasn't that obvious. Just a sudden warm color to his face. Just amber eyes flared wide. Just slightly parted lips. Almost like he *wanted* to say something, but didn't dare.  
  
Honda had noticed, really noticed for the first time, how unmistakably *oral* Jou was. He nibbled on anything. His pencil. His thumbnail. His knuckles. Jou bared his teeth all the time, grinning or scowling. (Not that there was much grinning now.) He bit his lower lip when concentrating on a particularly harsh math problem. Honda noticed all of that now.  
  
Color flooded his own face. *He* had been the oral one when they had-- Honda swallowed. Couldn't define it properly just right now. The scowl returned to his face. Why was he the only dealing with this? He was possessed by a sudden urge to jump up and grab Jou's shoulders and scream into the boy's face, "We had *SEX,* alright? Now let's deal with that, alright?!" That would go over well in class. Honda suppressed a snicker. That would certainly give Niwa-san a reason not to be happy with them.  
  
The bell bleated its mindlessly happy little song. Students all around Honda jumped up and grabbed backpacks and books. Conversation rose suddenly. Niwa-san stood in front of the door, much to the dismay of several students. "Now remember class, have a nice spring break, but don't forget that reading list I gave you! Choose one book from the list--" Her voice rose suddenly, to be heard over the collective groan of the class. "Choose one book from the list and be prepared to give a short oral report when we get back. Now have fun, everyone!"  
  
Honda shoved the manga back into his pack and hefted it over his shoulder. Damn thing was heavy with schoolwork that had to be done over break. Teachers didn't know the meaning of break, or didn't care. Honda leaned more towards the latter. He stood by his desk, waiting for Jounouchi. The other boy was silent as he gathered up his own items. They left the classroom without saying a word to one another.  
  
The silence clung to them as they walked off school ground. Jounouchi and Honda cut through the park instead of walking around it. This would bring them to the street corner where they would part ways that much sooner. Three days since that night. Twice Jou had cut *through* the park without looking to see if Honda would follow. No, wait, today would make that *three* times. 'And Anzu says I'm hopeless in math,' Honda thought bitterly to himself.  
  
'I hate this. I hate this silence. I hate the shrugs whenever I talk to him. I hate those lame excuses he makes so we won't be left alone in the same room together.' Words ran bitter through his mind. 'I even think I hate Jou just a little bit, because he keeps running from this.' Every time Honda said, "About the other night..." a dead quiet would settle over the blond's normally animated demeanor. And Honda would change the subject, not wanting freak Jou out.  
  
Maybe it was *time* to freak Jou out. If only so Honda could sleep quietly tonight.  
  
He stopped suddenly. The heavy bag dropped from Honda's back and landed with an indignent thump on the ground. He saw Jou look over his shoulder. The blond stared back at him. Honda spoke quietly, but he knew Jounouchi heard every word. "You said, 'Not now.' " He licked his lips nervously (a habit he had picked up from Jou recently?). "Guess what? This 'now' seems as good as any to me."  
  
Jounouchi glared at him. "I gotta get home. Mom and Shizuka'll be over sometime this week and the place is a mess."  
  
"It can wait; I can't," Honda replied bluntly.  
  
"Can't or won't?"  
  
"Take your pick."  
  
"Some other time." The blond's expression softened slightly, "This is important to me. I'll meet you at the game shop tomorrow."  
  
Honda stepped forward and pushed Jounouchi against a nearby tree. Another backpack became acquainted with the grass. He stood as close to Jou as he dared. Not close enough. Not far enough away. "And what's gonna come up tomorrow? And the day after that?" he asked gently of the startled blond before him. He didn't know what he was doing, didn't even know what exactly he hoped to hear. He just knew that he wanted Jou to stop running.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"I don't know. But we've had this conversation, haven't we?"  
  
An arm's length away. Closer and he'd be too close. Farther and *he* would be the one looking to escape. Again the flushed look. Wide amber eyes. Slightly parted lips. An open, hunted look. But now..? Those eyes narrowed. Lips revealed teeth in an unconcious snarl. But the color still tinted Jou's skin.  
  
Honda felt himself shoved roughly to the ground. He landed with a huff, the air knocked out of him for a moment. If he'd known it was coming, he could have dodged, or at least *fallen* right. He looked up to glare at Jou. The blond had already picked up his backpack and was almost sprinting away. Honda got to his feet and dashed after Jounouchi. Now the blond *was* running. Honda reached out and seized a wrist that was suddenly within his grasp. Jou staggered suddenly, and Honda tumbled into him, the two boys barely remaining upright.  
  
And suddenly Honda didn't care about distance, wasn't close enough. Jounouchi was clutching his shoulders, trying to remain standing. Honda still gripped the other boy's wrist with one hand. He rested the other on Jou's cheek. Close and too close. It didn't really matter any more. Jou froze under the gentle touch and intense gaze. Honda leaned foreward without really meaning to. He stopped. Was this--?  
  
"What do you want?" Jou whispered. Simple question.  
  
"You." Simple answer. 'Yeah, *this* is what I want,' Honda thought in a sudden moment of clarity. And he did. The heat, the startled pounding of his heart, the feeling of the boy in his arms, *this* was what he wanted. He wanted Katsuya. Not Jou, his buddy, his best friend. He wanted Katsuya, the suddenly precious stranger before him. Honda leaned foreward and kissed the blond, noting every detail to memory. The future was uncertain. This was now.  
  
He had to tilt his head down ever-so-slightly to meet Katsuya's lips. The blond froze and didn't respond at first. Honda kept the kiss dry and chaste enough to satisfy a nun. The way he wrapped his arm around Katsuya's waist and pulled him close wouldn't have been approved of. But he might have gotten away with releasing his hold on the other boy's wrist and grasping his hand. Honda just hoped that no one was around, approving nun or not.  
  
After a few moments, he pulled back slightly. Katsuya's eyes ('He has beautiful eyes.') were wide. Honda leaned forward to whisper in the blond's ear. "The sky didn't fall, Katsuya, the world didn't end. I kissed you, and the world didn't end."  
  
"Fuck," Katsuya swore softly. He closed what little distance remained between him and Honda and rested his head on the brunette's shoulder. "This messes everything up, you know?" His voice was muffled into Honda's jacket.  
  
"Yeah. But maybe that's okay, right?" Honda put his arms around Katsuya and rubbed small circles around his shoulder blades. The soft motions seemed to calm the other boy slightly. "Maybe we don't *have* to know what's going on." He tilted his head towards Katsuya's. "Maybe we should just go with it for now."  
  
The blond stepped back from Honda. No touching of lips or limbs, but the heat of the other's body remained tangible to both boys. Katsuya swallowed and looked at Honda, trying to marshal his thoughts into something coherent. "I can't-- I mean I don't--" He squeezed his eyes shut and balled his hands into fists to hang limply at his sides. "What I feel, it's not-- Why did you-- For that matter, why did I--" He gave up. "I gotta figure this out, Honda," he finished at last.  
  
"I'll stick around. For when you do."  
  
"I'd like that." Katsuya, Jounouchi once again, picked up his backpack and headed home.  
  
Honda grabbed his own pack and walked in silence. The world hadn't ended after all, only changed. He reached his family's house not long after leaving the park. He exchanged pleasent words with his parents, laughing at his father's wildly exaggerated woes of work. He helped dix dinner and clean the dishes afterwards. He watched a movie with his older brother visiting for the week from his college. Normal. Safe. He went upstairs to work on Niwatori-san's reading list. Dry book, but he got through the first few chapters.  
  
He hissed when he cut another finger on the edge of a page. He touched a single fingertip to his lips. He pulled it back a moment and stared at the liquid there. Honda sucked lightly at his finger again. He was, after all, still bleeding.  
  
In more ways than one. 


	3. Hopscotch

Contradictions  
  
ch 3: Hopscotch  
  
by: falsechaos  
  
falsechaos@mail.com  
  
Yaoi. Lemon yaoi. Don't read if that'll make your brain explode, 'cause I'm not cleaning it up. Oh, and I don't own Yu-gi-oh! either.  
  
Be a man. His father told him this a long time ago.  
  
The water had turned lukewarm some time ago. It never stayed hot for long anyway. The harsh pink of his skin was fading slightly as the temperature lowered. It had been what? an hour ago? since he had entered the shower. Purification. Scrubbing away dirt that was never there in the first place, real or imagined. Jounouchi sat down, ignoring the 'plink, plink' around him. The shower head was covered with lime. The most it could manage was a forceful spatter. Water was running down his face. Didn't matter. His eyes were closed.  
  
Be a man.  
  
So what did that mean? Never back down from a challenge. Never let people know when you hurt. Never let people know when you're afraid. And above all, stand on your own two feet. To do otherwise is to admit weakness. A lot of nevers there. Okay, not too bad. But what did it mean coming from Jounouchi's old man? A lot of brave talk for someone who had run from his own family. To be fair, Mom was the one that left; but Dad was the one that did the running, long before *she* did.  
  
What else could you call it? Working long hours at the office, spending longer evenings in bars. Coming home sloshed off his ass, spitting out a few hurtful words. Passing out on the couch, not moving until the next morning to begin the cycle anew. True, he worked hard to support his family. But he acted like it was a prison term to be served. 'Great example you set for me, Dad.'  
  
The water continued to fall cold around him.  
  
Jou got to his feet and climbed out of the shower. He wrapped a threadbare towel around his waist and walked down the short hallway to his bedroom. His hair was rubbed vigorously after he closed the door behind him. The dresser was empty again, so he dug through his hamper and pulled out the least offensive smelling clothes. He tugged them on and made a mental note to do laundry after taking care of the rest of the apartment.  
  
He set about cleaning the kitchen first. Mom and Shizuka would spend most of their time in there, talking and maybe playing a couple card games with him. Games. Yuugi. Jounouchi smiled a bit. How funny was it, that such a little guy could teach him so much? Always there for his friends, never running from the challenges that actually *meant* something. And Jou had thought *he* had something to teach the kid when they first met.  
  
The kitchen was a mess. His dad was slob and Jou wasn't much better in that respect. Dishes were scraped off and stuffed in the dishwasher. Wrappers and cans were startled to find themselves in the trash can after so long a stay on the counters. The table was a challenge. He found a homework assignment that he had been missing for two weeks. Jounouchi even went so far as to clean out the fridge, holding his nose as he dumped out foods that were starting to breed new species of mold.  
  
The living room was easier. Pick up the scattered beer cans and pop bottles. Dump the microwave dinner trays into the trash. Vacuum the orange shag. Jou frowned. He'd had a pet hamster once. He wouldn't have been surprised to find out that the carpet ate it. The shag certainly looked like the pelt of some exotic predator. A very flat predator.  
  
He was working his way around the landing in front of the apartment door when Jounouchi heard his father setting heavy feet on the rickety metal stairway.  
  
"What are you doing, boy?"  
  
"What's it look like?" Jou replied, biting back as much sarcasm as possible.  
  
His father laughed. It was a harsh, barking cough that sounded like it had to claw its way up from his chest. "Not much good it'll do you. Your mother called. She won't make it here for another couple of weeks. Something about work." The words themselves were cruel in an offhanded, casual way... Even through the quiet look of hurt that seemed forever to hang in the elder Jounouchi's eyes.  
  
Jou looked up and wanted smack that hurt look off his father's face. He asked quietly, "Why'd she call you?" His posture was stiff and he clutched the railing of the landing tightly. "Why not me?" Why wasn't *he* worth contacting, worth telling directly?  
  
Again, that harsh, barking cough. "She doesn't even know the number to the apartment! She had to call me just to get the address." Jou's father shouldered past him. "Nice job on the apartment, Katsuya," he said with a gruff kindness that seemed almost an afterthought.  
  
The familiar knot of disappointment yanked tighter in Jou's chest. Mom and Shizuka weren't coming. Because of work. And Mom couldn't even bother to find the number and call and tell *him* the news directly. Ever since the operation, something had blossomed between Jou and his mother. A strange sort of affection and forgiveness for things beyond either of their control. A faint hope that maybe, just maybe, he could redeem *some* of the time lost between them. And now *this.*  
  
Jou growled and slammed to the door to the apartment shut. He leaned against the railing for a moment, trying to calm his temper. Terrific. He hung his head. Not like it was much of a surprise, given his current run of luck. And the old man was home now. The blond sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. There wouldn't be any peace in the apartment now. Not tonight, and certainly not for the rest of his spring break.  
  
'I can't put up with him now. Not until I can stop worrying about yelling at him. And it isn't even his fault this time.' Jou opened the door to the apartment and went to his room. He deliberately kept his back to the living room. His father remained silent, planted on the couch and showing no signs of moving from in front of the television. Jou grabbed his coat and a handful of change.  
  
"I'm going out. Be back later." Silence for a reply as he left. A tiny bit of luck. Sort of.  
  
The sun glowed pink in the horizon and shadows rose from daytime slumber to cover Domino City. Heavy clouds sat sullen on the skyline. Good chance of rain later. He'd have to find a roof somewhere if he got caught out in a storm. Jounouchi shoved his hands in his pockets as he walked down the narrow sidewalks. Another reason he'd have to be careful. Domino was renowned mainly for the intensity of the Duel Monsters craze, not for any severity of crime. Still... He'd gotten in enough scrapes around town to know not to go down any dark alleys at night.  
  
He cut through the park, sticking close to the paths with lamps. Jou sat down for a moment at one of the benches and stared at the hopscotch design drawn in front of it. Shizuka used to play hopscotch. Jounouchi remembered a time when his little sister had begged him to play with her. He'd relented in the end and was even enjoying himself, until his friend Yamato had showed up and told Jou to stop acting like a little girl. Needless to say, Yamato hadn't remained a friend for much longer. Jou met Honda not long after, so that more than made up for--  
  
'Shit.' The comfortable mental block Jounouchi had constructed earlier that day shattered. He hung his head and cursed softly. Get the idea out of his head and go on with life. It worked before. His parents' divorce, his sister's danger of going blind, it wasn't like he could do anything about those, right? Just let it go and move on. Duelist Kingdom changed part of that. He saved his sister. It took the hardest duel of his life, and the help of his friends, but he did it.  
  
So what was he going to do now?  
  
Jou knew he couldn't ignore what had happened between them forever. The little episode earlier that afternoon in the park had pretty much killed *that* desperate hope. 'And what does Honda want? Me. Thank you, Hiroto, for making it so delightfully clear.' So what did all that mean? That was the big question he didn't have an answer to.  
  
There were little questions that were bothering Jounouchi as well. What brain glitch had possessed him into kissing Honda in the first place? And over a piece of candy? Why didn't he pull away for real when he caught himself? What was Honda thinking, kissing him back anyway? Why did he himself go along with any of it at all?  
  
'Because it felt *good,* ' a far part of his mind whispered. 'It felt good and I *wanted* to kiss Honda back.' It was during interior dialogs like this that Jou wondered if an extra spirit or two was snarking about in the back of *his* mind.  
  
'Did not,' he argued feebly back at himself.  
  
'Really? They why the screaming?'  
  
'Natural reaction.'  
  
'Good thing his parents weren't home for that little "natural reaction." '  
  
'So it's been a while since I got laid, big deal.'  
  
'So it's fixed by jumping Hiroto?'  
  
'I didn't jump him.'  
  
'Really? Then why all the rubbing and moaning? Face it, it was something Hiroto and I *both* needed."  
  
It made sense in a twisted sort of way. Honda was about the only stable facet of his life. His sister, while dearly loved, at times seemed more of an idealized symbol than a real person. Mother dearest didn't even know the phone number to the apartment. And his dad... barely there even when they were both in the same room. Even Yuugi's friendship was called into a strange sort of examination. A fierce loyalty that seemed to spring from nowhere all at once and meant almost everything.  
  
And through all of it, duels, blind sisters, and ancient Egyptian spirits, Honda was there with him. He was as comfortably unremarkable as the blond's old school jacket. Now this.  
  
A groan passed Jou's lips and he clutched his head in his hands. He glanced down at the game squares before him. The bright, awkward lines suddenly seemed garish and twisted, a tangled structure to reflect his current state of mind. He surged to his feet in a single angry motion.  
  
"It's not fair!" Jou shouted. He kicked and scuffed at the hopscotch grid, intent on blurring the now mocking lines. An irrational anger flowed like acid through his veins, burning away rational thought. The blond's motions became frantic and jerky as he threw himself into the task of obliterating a child's chalk scrawls. Jounouchi's breath came in harsh pants. It was such a childish action, below even a temper tantrum, but he needed it... He brushed salty moisture away from his eyes with angry hands. He was not crying! Not here, alone, in the Domino equivalent of nowhere!  
  
The blond didn't hear a familiar voice calling his name. Jou kept struggling to erase the grid even as strong arms wrapped around him from behind. He lashed out at the sudden presence. A sudden gasping wheeze followed as Jou rammed his elbow into the stranger's gut. Instinct squashed any remnant sanity at this point. For now it was just enough to have a convenient target and a blank face.  
  
Tears blurred his vision as he whirled around and swung at his opponent. It was a sloppy move. Jou's fist should have connected directly with the other's cheek, cutting the sensitive flesh inside and hopefully cracking a few teeth. He clipped the stranger's jaw, cracking his knuckles instead. Jou was shoved roughly to the ground. The sudden impact jarred his tailbone and his breath. He felt the other's weight settle heavily on the single knee grinding into his back. A sharp prick of pain capered gleefully across his shoulders as his arms were pinned as well.  
  
"Will you calm down!?" that familiar voice demanded of him. "Jou?" The weight on his back lessened for a moment and then moved away entirely.  
  
He lay there a moment. Didn't trust himself to respond. The blond gathered to his feet sluggishly. Jou looked up at Honda, shadows pooling in the hollows of his eyes and almost masking his frustrated tears. He spat out, "What are *you* doing here?" and wavered unsteadily on his feet for a second.  
  
Honda almost defiant in front of Jounouchi. The brunet's hands were shoved deep into his pockets and he ignored his throbbing jaw. "I came looking for some peace and quiet."  
  
"Why here?" It was one of those rare times when Jou knew the answer even as he asked the question. This was, after all, roughly the same place where Honda had kissed him earlier that afternoon. So why not? Why *wouldn't* he run into one of the last people he wanted to see right now? And why not here? Jou bit back a snicker. The timing was perfect.  
  
Honda narrowed his eyes. "Now what's so funny?"  
  
He couldn't help it. Jou spit out a mouthful of choked laughter. (The snide voice in the back of his head was relieved to note that he didn't sound like his old man when he laughed; a small relief if any.) He ignored the sudden look of anger that settled over Honda's face. Both of them were running from something they didn't want to deal with. And both of them had run smack into something *else* that demanded a solution. It was funny. In a frying-pan-to-the-groin sort of way.  
  
His shoulders shook with the force of his laughter. Jounouchi stumbled over to Honda, wrapping his arms around the brunet's neck to hold himself upright. It hurt to laugh this hard. He buried his face into the crook of Honda's shoulder and ignored the other's startled queries. Tears squeezed from his eyes, but that was kind of funny too. And so was the look on Hiroto's face when Jou turned to kiss him.  
  
It was a very sloppy kiss at first. Jou's lips slid wetly over Hiroto's mouth and their teeth clicked together painfully and they may have bumped noses at one point. He wasn't that sure. Then suddenly Jou found the right angle at which to tilt his head and *everything* aligned perfectly. The way Hiroto pulled their bodies flush together. The way his tongue flicked at the roof of the other's mouth. The saline taste of his own fading tears. Even the way the dark lining of the sky gave way and drenched them both with rain.  
  
Hiroto was the first to pull away. He looked odd with his normally prominent spike of hair matted down into soppy bangs around his eyes. "I'm so glad to see that I amuse you," he said, his expression deadpan.  
  
A muffled chuckle answered him. "Anytime," Jou answered, his face once more buried in the crook of Hiroto's shoulder. 'And when did I start calling him Hiroto?' he wondered in the back of his mind. He backed away from the brunet entirely and brushed the sopping blond hair from his collar. "We need to get out of this."  
  
"That's the first thing you've contributed tonight that makes any sense," Hiroto answered with a slight grin. "The picnic shelter should be around here somewhere."  
  
They walked companionably through the pouring rain. Jou was cold and wet, but it didn't seem to matter that much for some reason. No words passed between them. For the first time in days, however, the silence was comfortable and not forced. They reached the shelter after a few moments of such silence. The shelter wasn't built to house anyone during a heavy storm, but it acted as adequate shielding against the showers despite having no walls. A couple of tables turned on their sides provided a convenient corner to huddle into away from the cold wind.  
  
Hiroto had to raise his voice to be heard over the drumming of rain against the roof. "So what brings you out in this mess?"  
  
"Same as you. Looking for some peace and quiet." Jou sat with his arms hugging his knees. He snickered. "Bad thing is, this is more peaceful than home right about now."  
  
"At least you don't have to worry about your overbearing older brother sleeping in your room," Hiroto said elbowing Jou gently in the ribs.  
  
"And where'd your dear parents decide to put you?"  
  
Hiroto sighed. "Mom and Dad already have me sleeping on the couch. Next step would be the garage."  
  
"Least then you could sleep in the same room as your precious bike."  
  
The brunet mock growled. "Leave my bike out of this, Jou."  
  
"Why?" Jou said with another snicker. "I swear man, you treat that machine like you gave birth to it or something."  
  
"I do not."  
  
Jou grinned. "Yes you do."  
  
"Come home with me."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"You heard me." Hiroto looked at Jou a moment, hazel eyes earnest. "Just... come home with me tonight. I'll make sure to get you home early and I'll even help with any cleaning or stuff you've still got to do tomorrow." He turned away and Jou could see the barest line of the brunet's profile.  
  
Jou remained silent a moment and his heart fluttered suddenly in his chest for some reason. His voice was soft and could barely be heard over the rain. "Doesn't matter. She's not coming."  
  
Hiroto furrowed his brow and turned to face Jou again. "Why not? She promised you didn't she?"  
  
"Something came up. Her job she said." Anger creased his face and Jou tightened his grip around his knees. "At least, that's what she told the old man. Didn't know the number to the apartment so she had to call him. Didn't try to find me or anything, she just called the old man at work."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Jou snorted. "Don't be." He stiffened when Hiroto slung an arm around his shoulders and tugged him close. A soft sigh seemed to release the tension inside of him, however, and Jou leaned into the other's soggy warmth. "Yeah."  
  
"Yeah what?"  
  
Amber eyes rolled. "Yeah to your question, idiot."  
  
"Oh. We'd better get going then." He got to his feet with a slight groan. "Mom's gonna be pissed enough at me as it is."  
  
"Pissed enough about you dragging home a stray?" Jou grinned.  
  
Hiroto laughed and held up his hands. "Hey, you said it. Not me." He helped Jounouchi to his feet and the two left the picnic shelter.  
  
It was a fifteen minute walk from the park to Hiroto's home. Roughly half that if one ran. The two boys set a steady dash through the streets and the rain. A vaulted fence, four corners, and two crosswalks brought them to the Honda residence.  
  
"Honda Hiroto! Where have you been!" the brunet's mother screamed when they tried to slink in through the back door. "You said you were going for a walk, not a swim!"  
  
Hiroto grinned sheepishly, a gesture thoroughly lost on his angry mother. "Aw mom, I just ran in Jou, okay?" He continued to walk rapidly through the kitchen, tugging Jou behind him, and praying his mother would let it go.  
  
"Just what *are* you doing here, Jou?" Her voice softened slightly. "And in this weather? You could get sick."  
  
"Hiroto offered me a chance to get dried off a bit before heading home. It's not that far." He turned to glare at the brunet who was still trying to pull him away from the kitchen. The only response was that same sheepish grin. Nice try.  
  
She sighed and rubbed her temples. "A very nice little white lie, Jou, one that almost had me convinced. Yes, you can stay the night. And yes, Hiroto, I know that was what you really asked him. For goodness sake you two, get upstairs and get dried off."  
  
After a brief thanks, Jou turned to follow the equally damp Hiroto upstairs. Entering the brunet's normally clean room turned out to be something of a surprise. Dirty clothes were strewn about from wall to wall and the bed sat sulking and unmade in the corner.  
  
Hiroto growled under his breath and kicked the most of the offending clothes into a large pile. "I don't care if he's just visiting, the slob's gonna clean this up before he leaves!"  
  
"I take it this is where Kenji's sleeping?" Jou asked with a smirk.  
  
A glare and raised eyebrow were the only response for a few moments. Hiroto sighed and said, "Don't worry. We can sleep in the game room tonight." The two changed into drier clothing, Jou borrowing a shirt and pair of shorts that hung slightly on his lankier frame.  
  
The game room (barely that even if you counted the pool table) was once Hiroto's, before Kenji moved away to college and the younger Honda moved into a larger bedroom. It was barely large enough to hold a battered and worn pool table (missing the 6 ball), a moth eaten couch (missing part of the stuffing in one of the two cushions), and a closet (missing the third shelf). Jou grabbed some blankets and piled them on the couch. A rude rumble reminded the blond that he had yet to eat dinner or a reasonable equivalent thereof.  
  
"Gee, if you're that hungry, there's some stuff left over from dinner downstairs," Hiroto said with a smirk. "I'm gonna go get a shower."  
  
Amber eyes lit up at the mention of food and Jounouchi dashed downstairs, leaving his laughing friend behind. He gave a brief hello to Hiroto's parents. Both gave a lackluster response before returning to their conversations. A plate of cold spaghetti later, he returned to the game room to curl up in a pile of blankets. He turned and twisted, but something kept bothering him.  
  
It took a few moments of poking and prodding with his tongue, but Jou finally came to the inevitable conclusion that the fuzzy feeling on his teeth was not going to go away if he didn't brush his teeth. Grumbles and groans accompanied him as he struggled from his impromptu nest of blankets and stumbled towards the upstairs bathroom. Door was closed. 'Greaat. Someone's still in there.' He turned to leave but heard the unmistakable sound of Hiroto's voice on the other side of the door. Singing.  
  
Jounouchi quirked his head to the side and pressed his ear against the door. Yeesss... That was Hiroto singing. Sort of. It was more of a loud, melodic mumble than actual singing, but not entirely unpleasant to listen to. The blond shrugged. Fine, just as long as the curtain was closed. He entered the bathroom, closed the door behind him, and gulped.  
  
That damned curtain left little to the imagination. Jou could see every lean outline. Tall and slightly muscular, but lean enough to hide that strength. Long fingers rubbing shampoo into his scalp. The subtle curve of the small of his back. It wasn't as if Jou hadn't seen his friend naked before (of course, he didn't count that sex thing a few days earlier). Just not... not quite like this. Fine. Just keep quiet, brush the teeth, and go back to sleep.  
  
He swallowed and reached for the spare toothbrush that was kept in the Honda household for his frequent unexpected visits. The treacherous instrument of dental hygiene fell from his fingers and clattered against the porcelain sink. He barely had time to cast a frantic look in the direction of the shower when Hiroto stuck his head out.  
  
"For that last damn time Kenji--!" The brunet blinked owlishly at his duelist friend while a few remaining suds slid down around his shoulders. "Jou?"  
  
The aforementioned blond grinned and rubbed at the back of his neck. "Eh, just needed to brush my teeth. I'll be out in a minute. Go back to your shower." The same strange flutter he had felt earlier in his chest repeated itself. He turned away sharply and began scrubbing vigorously at this teeth.  
  
"Jou?" Hiroto chuckled. "It might be easier if you put toothpaste on it first."  
  
"Ah, shut up wiseguy." He reached for the paste and glared at Hiroto, who had already ducked behind the curtain. 'I wonder what--' he cut that train of thought off with ruthless efficiency. 'I'm making progress with this, don't rush it,' Jou admonished himself silently. 'Gone from not thinking about it entirely to thinking about it a little. Dirty thoughts... Dirty thoughts about another guy are way, way down the line if they're there at all.'  
  
He spit into the sink and reached up to wipe a clean swath in the fogged mirror. Jou could tell his cheeks were red even through the moisture still dotting the glass. Great. Blush. Slight shaking. An odd hollowness in his chest and gut. He only acted like this whenever... 'Whenever I'm around Mai or another cute girl,' he finished in his head. 'Or whenever I'm around Hiroto the past few days.'  
  
And for some strange reason, it was like Hiroto had said earlier that day. The world didn't end. Sure, Jou's perception of it had altered out of recognition, so that sort of counted... But still. He was still here and Hiroto was still here and that was what really counted, right?  
  
Jou pulled his shirt off over his head and stepped into the shower before he could change his mind. He ignored the shocked look on the brunet's face, his hands reaching and pulling Hiroto into a deep kiss. For the second time that evening, he became thoroughly soaked. And for the second time that evening, he didn't care.  
  
Hiroto stood in startled stillness for a moment. His brain processes boiled down to two essential thoughts: What brought this on? and How do I make it continue? Even those bare queries fizzled away when he felt Jou settle himself flush against Hiroto. Jou, wet and in the shower with him, wet and mostly naked. Damn good start. He pulled away just long enough to ask the blond, "What are you doing?"  
  
"Just going along with it like you suggested," he replied in a suddenly husky voice.  
  
"Great idea, Katsuya." A pause to nip hungrily at the boy's lower lip. "Very, very great idea."  
  
Katsuya's hands moved swiftly over Hiroto's slick skin. He rubbed his fingertips against every curve and dip of flesh and muscle that moved beneath his palms. Blood rushed through his veins and settled in that ache at the very pit of him that moved so desperately against Hiroto. He felt the other boy's hands tangling in his sandy blond hair. Pulling him deeper into the frantic caress of lips and tongue.  
  
Wet tile met bare back when Hiroto pushed Katsuya against the wall of the shower. A brief surge of alarm flooded the blond as he felt the other's heavy weight pin him in place. He tore his mouth from Hiroto's and panted in the steam filled air. Sharp cries echoed in the small room. Hiroto ground his pelvis hard against Katsuya's boxer-clad hips.  
  
Too much. Too much weight, too much control in the hands of another. Even if it felt so good, it was still too much. "Stop," he managed to gasp out through the sensations of pleasure and panic. "Stop!" he said again and pushed Hiroto away. Katsuya took in a shuddering breath at the sudden relief.  
  
Hiroto stared at the blond with wide hazel eyes. His would be lover was pressed against the wall, his chest heaving to draw air and his face turned away. A sharp guilt lanced Hiroto's heart and cooled his growing ardor. His words came out in tangles. "I'm sorry, Katsuya, god, I'm sorry, I--"  
  
"Not the touching!" The blond reached for Hiroto and settled his arms around the other's waist. "Touching's good, not the pinning or pushing shit, Hiroto, I can't do that, just don't push me like that." He tilted his head and leaned in to renew the kiss.  
  
"No pinning or pushing, got it," the brunet mumbled. His hands moved uncertainly over Katsuya's back, hesitant at first. The faint gasps he received in reply urged Hiroto to move his hands further down. He tugged Katsuya's boxers down and the blond stepped smoothly out of them, barely breaking contact. The boxers were flung out of the shower to land with a wet "thwock!" on the linoleum floor.  
  
Katsuya brushed wet brown hair away from Hiroto's eyes. He pulled away to lick at the heated moisture behind the other's ear. White teeth nibbled gently on the tender earlobe. Katsuya trailed his mouth down, nipping at Hiroto's jawline in what was an oddly familiar manner. He sagged against the brunet and uttered a long groan when he felt long fingers stroke his half-erect member.  
  
"I wanna try something," Hiroto whispered in Katsuya's ear. Even through the faint pink caused by the hot water and his own darker skintone, Katsuya could see a sharp crimson blush spread across the bridge of the brunet's nose and his cheeks.  
  
"What?" the blond asked cautiously.  
  
"Just... hell, just trust me, okay?" He pushed Katsuya against the wall. "Trust me," Hiroto repeated softly when he saw the sudden hard look in the other's eyes.  
  
Soft kisses placed at random on Katsuya's collarbone did much to calm him. The gentle brush of lips against flesh moved lower and strong hands cupped the firm curves of his rear. Hiroto's tongue darted in and out of his navel and Katsuya stifled a snicker. He noticed with a start that his friend was now on his knees on the pebbled surface of the shower mat.  
  
Hiroto gulped. This was... This was going to be odd, to say the least. Once a girl had agreed to do this to him on one of his rare dates. He knew what felt good, what drove *him* half crazy. It was the specific techniques that escaped him at the moment. He rubbed gently at Katsuya's inner thighs, a little closer to the true target with each movement.  
  
The blond almost doubled over when Hiroto wrapped his lips around the tip of Katsuya's erection. His breath was reduced the barest gasps for air. A sudden tight heat enveloped half the throbbing ache and strong fingers gripped the rest. Katsuya fought against the urge to thrust blindly into that heat. He grasped desperately at Hiroto's shoulders with trembling hands. The water continued to fall on and around them, steaming the air and making it so very difficult to think properly.  
  
A brown head of hair moved with a steadier rhythm. Such an odd taste, salty and bitter, flavored mainly by the few drops of thin milky fluid that had clung to the tip before he started. Hiroto ignored the protesting of his gag reflex and sore jaw to take more of Katsuya's member into his mouth. His teeth grazed lightly at the sensitive skin and he heard Katsuya utter a low moan. Hiroto's gag reflex won out briefly and he moved quickly to lick and nip along Katsuya's length. He nipped at bit hard at one point and Katsuya yelped.  
  
"What was that!?"  
  
"Take it easy, alright, I'm new at this."  
  
Katsuya glowered down at Hiroto. "How'd you like if I started biting *you*?"  
  
A rakish grin twitched at the corners of the brunet's lips. "If you think you can do any better..." he trailed off and brushed a soggy spike of brown away from his eyes. The sharp blush still spread across his face slightly ruined the seductive attempt. "Thought so," he muttered when Katsuya didn't bother to respond.  
  
Muffled cries filled the small room again when Hiroto resumed his earlier actions. Katsuya bit harshly at his lower lip to stifle the noises. He looked down and arrived at the conclusion that watching his best friend going down on him was surreal to say the least. The sight of warm lips wrapped tightly around him finally unraveled that tight knot of pressure building at the root of him. Katsuya pushed at Hiroto's shoulders in a feeble attempt at warning and released with a low growl.  
  
Hiroto lapped at the thick seed, grimacing faintly at the taste for a moment and allowing the hot water of the shower to wash the rest away. He got to his feet and grinned (with no small amount of pride) at the look on Katsuya's face. The blond was leaning against the wall, cheeks red, and breath panting. "This is a good look for you," Hiroto said with a small, affectionate smile.  
  
"Ass. I'll get you back for that," Katsuya said between breaths.  
  
Teasing kisses graced the tip of the blond's nose. "You can barely stand up." Hiroto was startled to find himself spun around and shoved against the wall in Katsuya's place. "What are you doing, Katsuya?"  
  
A wide leer was the only response. Katsuya fastened his mouth on Hiroto's neck. He sucked and bit on the darker flesh until a mottled marking appeared, partner to the fading bruise on his own neck. Gentle laps of his tongue soothed the slight ache. He continued his attentions to every inch of flesh that moved under his mouth. Katsuya's hands wondered aimlessly over Hiroto's back and chest never paused to linger for very long.  
  
Now it was Hiroto's turn to lean against the shower wall. He arched his back against the wet tile and pressed himself desperately to the other. Thrusting against Katsuya's did little to relieve anything until the blond covered Hiroto's erection with calloused fingers and stroked firmly. All of his strength seemed to drain with the water around them. He clung to Katsuya's shoulders for support and ground his hips into the delightful pressure of the blond's skilled hand.  
  
Katsuya snaked his free arm around Hiroto's back to help hold the brunet up. The smooth texture of the throbbing member in his hand moved smoothly along his palm. He stopped for a moment to graze blunt nails along the vein trailing beneath the other's length. Hiroto's agonized hiss of pleasure followed the sticky mess that coated Katsuya's hand.  
  
"Not quite as fancy as your moves, but it got the job done, right?"  
  
"Shut up Katsuya."  
  
The two climbed out of the shower and dried themselves off. Katsuya had to settle for a towel wrapped around his waist and a grin when Hiroto returned with a dry pair to replace the boxers slouched wet against the wall. Brief shouts issued from downstairs as they walked down the hallway and to the game room. Apparently Kenji had come home.  
  
A crumple heap of blankets beckoned to Katsuya who burrowed eagerly into them. He yawned and stretched. He looked quizzically at Hiroto when the other boy settled down beside him swaddled in blankets. Warm arms laid loosely around his own. Ah. So that's what he wanted. Katsuya let his weight melt into the warmth behind him.  
  
He waited until he felt Hiroto's breath become soft and rhythmic. Disentangling himself from the other's embrace proved a bit difficult for a moment. Katsuya furrowed his brow and sat in the darkness of the tiny room. A quick glanced revealed that Hiroto still slept. He curled into a tight ball next to his friend and let sleep approach softly.   
  
Sex was one thing. The intimacy of Hiroto's simple embrace was not. Laying here however, next to him in the dark, feeling his solid warmth, was something else. Katsuya slid into the first quiet sleep he'd had in days. And the first truly peaceful sleep he'd had in an unmeasurable time. In his mind he saw the garish line of the hopscotch grid melt away in the rain. 


End file.
